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Chapstick Champ: Winter Weather’s Must-Have

January 10, 2014

Chapped lips are the worst, are they not? Kissing a dude when your lips are flaking like an onion? Not sexy. And painful as hell. Coming in second are chapped hands, elbows, feet, ass, and whatever else this damn winter weather causes to dry up and turn into a crusty walnut.

Ewwwww.

Yeah, it is ew, but it doesn’t have to be!
 

Keep your summer dewy skin throughout winter by using this:

 

Nipple Cream!!!

 

(If you said ew again or giggled, you’re seriously like four years old. But I did the first time too, so who am I to judge?)

 

It’s not just for nursing mothers. It’s the world’s best ever chapstick and salve for cracked skin. I’m talking like overnight, magical shit. Even if you don’t have chapped lips, this stuff is awesome and will make your lips really soft. It’s seriously amazing. You can also use it on your crows feet. It traps in moisture and causes fine lines and wrinkles to become less visible. Be sure to get one that is 100% lanolin and doesn’t have any yucky ingredient fillers in it. I recommend the one from Target, Lansinoh.

Now, go smear on some nip cream!

And if you’re still giggling…

NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE

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